Since I began as your student rabbi this past September, these monthly columns for my beloved congregants at United Hebrew Congregation have offered a breath of fresh air from the arduous papers assigned in rabbinical school.
But most importantly, this space has served as an outlet to express precepts our tradition teaches in relation to our everyday lives. I have found deep joy in the hope that my words might provide comfort, significance or an opportunity for learning.
Lately, however, I have struggled to compose thoughts that might bring meaning to your lives and the lives of your loved ones, amidst the challenges we all face daily during this pandemic.
Words fail in these challenging times
I wrote about the ways our Jewish worship and customs will need to change in these times -– but I deleted those paragraphs because you all live in this reality, too.
I took passages from our sacred texts in an effort to relate to our current challenges — but fell short there as well.
I wrote about my own experiences during this time of social isolation –- but the challenges I have encountered lacked importance when compared to your experiences.
The commonality we share is that none of us has ever faced a challenge this grand before, regardless of the generation to which we belong.
I considered avoiding COVID-19 completely, but coronavirus is the elephant in every room we can’t ignore, even when we shut off the news and social media or try to change the subject in conversations with colleagues, family and friends.
Yet, even as we attempt to shut it all out for the sake of our sanity, our minds keep bringing us back to worry over what this panedemic means for our personal circles and the global population.
The commonality we share is that none of us has ever faced a challenge this grand before, regardless of the generation to which we belong.
We can compare to the 1918 influenza pandemic, but none of us lived through that event.
We share the experience together
Therefore, I write with the sincere intention of expressing that I am with you in this experience. I write from a place of vulnerability, fear, pain, uncertainty, cynicism, optimism and anxious hope that I know we all share.
I hope some of our personal encounters and the lessons I have learned may help you as we spend more time than ever before in our homes with computers, televisions and phones.
This is also a time to connect to our humanity and understand that during unparalleled crises, no set formula or rules exist to guide our perceptions of the changing world around us.
Such isolation creates opportunity to get personal and connect in any way that may soothe our hearts. Yes, it is a time to focus on our faith. But this is also a time to connect to our humanity and understand that during unparalleled crises, no set formula or rules exist to guide our perceptions of the changing world around us.
Upstairs, my dog is barking because he’s come to expect an overload of attention now that Daniel and I are with him around the clock.
I heard Murphy bark and thought, “What do you have to complain about?”
Pets are living it up in these days with their humans at home indefinitely. I keep looking at my dogs with a twinge of jealousy for their immunity and inability to understand what is happening.
Double down on self-care
I’m reminded of an article from a few years ago on self-care entitled, “Treat Yourself as Well as You Treat Your Pet”. The article offered a surprising look at the basic needs of which we often deprive ourselves, even in the best of times.
As a friend once told me, “leave the ball of worry outside the door. It will still be there when you return.”
Now, more than ever, I encourage all of you to try these tactics of basic self-care. Some self-care may involve acts of spirituality and prayer, but others can include yoga, meditation, crafts and music. You’ve likely already heard this advice, or given it — and I hope you’re taking it.
But this is definitely the time to double down on self-care. As a friend once told me, “leave the ball of worry outside the door. It will still be there when you return.”
Self-care is not a selfish endeavor by any means. Self-care will give us the strength to sustain compassion for each other and assist from a distance.
Virtual spaces offer new opportunities for connection
I am deeply moved by the actions of so many communities to create virtual spaces for worship, teaching and ritual sharing in times of grief and joy.
Tomorrow, I will be “attending” shiva for a friend’s mother, via Zoom. Several of us are working on creating virtual B’nei Mitzvah ceremonies. This past weekend, I celebrated my 30th birthday, and my family held a surprise party for me online, each wearing “Happy Birthday” hats in four separate cities.
Shabbat services and Passover seders will continue online across the country at congergations big and small. Technology has become a haven as our homes become sanctuaries, classrooms, doctors’ offices, yoga studios and rooms for support groups, town halls and children’s play dates.
Reach out to isolated people
However, not everyone has access to this new arena of social connection. I spoke to several members of our congregation and others in the Cincinnati Jewish community. Particularly in restricted facilities such as retirement homes, computers are no longer accessible with common areas closed for safety reasons.
Living in this kind of social isolation, with only a telephone as means of connection, can be incredibly lonely for many of these individuals. I encourage you to reach out to members of your community who are only accessible by phone, even if you don’t know them well.
I encourage you to reach out to members of your community who are only accessible by phone, even if you don’t know them well.
Sadly, I won’t be able to hold Torah study at Westminster Village during my latest virtual visit, but I have encouraged residents to call me to discuss Torah or any other topic. I’ve learned how much a phone call means to people deprived of social connection. Now, many of our seniors are locked in indefinite quarantine, and this connection is more important than ever.
Join us for virtual Shabbat
Friday evening, I will share words of Torah from Parashat Tzav, and a short piece on Pesach inspired by a dear friend of mine. I hope to see your faces for our Zoom Shabbat service, if only on my computer screen.
In closing, I would like to share another poem and prayer by liturgist and author Alden Solovy that may provide comfort as we face the challenges around us together, even as we are physically apart:
Alden Solovy: Season of Sorrow
This is the season of sorrow.
A time when struggles recur and challenges arrive,
A time of endings and distress.
In this season I’ve known
Moments of pain,
Moments of sadness,
Moments of confusion.
Times of loss and
Times of grief,
Moments that stripped me of wisdom
And left me crushed and breathless,
Cold and in deepening shadow.
Holy One,
Help me recall my seasons of joy,
To recall with hope and praise
Your gifts and blessings.
Moments of laughter.
Moments of kindness.
Moments of peace.
Times of health. Times of clarity.
Moments that lifted my spirit
And comforted my heart.
In truth,
These joys and sorrows
Are gifts of holiness,
Gifts of mystery,
Gifts beyond my wisdom,
My knowledge,
My understanding.
Rock and Redeemer,
You are my comfort and my strength,
My light and my truth.
© 2017 CCAR Press from This Grateful Heart: Psalms and Prayers For a New Day
A personal prayer
My personal prayer for each of you individually and collectively:
May you be (and continue to be) in good health of body and mind –- today and in all your days.
May you continue to find connection and meaning in this ever-changing time of collective struggle and suffering.
In a time of true uncertainty, may we find the courage to hope that we will come through this together as a stronger community with newfound compassion for each other.
Hope that we will soon be able to embrace again, but with the patience to use our separation as a painful means to a better end.
Amen.
Student Rabbi Remy Liverman will serve United Hebrew Congregation throughout the 2019-20 academic year.